Don’t give advice to parents

You know those people that try to tell you how to be a good parent when they have no fucking idea what its like to raise a child? Yeah, them.

So I cry sometimes when she’s been screaming in my face for the last two hours and I got a measly nights sleep the night before because of the same thing? That’s understandable, there’s only so much of it you can take before you pop like any parent knows and it’s stressful and so hard you can’t even imagine it. There are no words to describe just how difficult it can be sometimes; 3/4 of the time. My daughter is two years old and still wakes up a good 5 times during the night, and when I say wake up I mean full blown screaming. Before all the advice comments pop up believe me I have tried it, routine does not work no matter what anybody says. Cutting out naps? Yes if I want Lucifer incarnate  until 6.30pm when she passes out, then wakes up at 11pm to scream for another 3 hours; after falling asleep again to still routinely wake up crying (or screeching) every hour or so. She has never been a good sleeper and probably never will be so sleep for me is very rare. Like most people I’m a grumpy cow when I have no sleep so me being mardy is a daily occurrence, followed by a very easily bored toddler having hundreds of tantrums a day (mainly because I refuse to keep feeding her chocolate) I’m entitled to get a bit upset, especially seeing as I’m doing majority of this on my own.

I get told a lot I’m not “allowed” to get down about it, and “you can’t do that, that’s awful parenting” also “why is she doing that don’t you think you should teach her better than that?” (mainly from somebody whos opinion is completely invalid but even so)

image

And on that note, heres a releveant picture

It really grinds my gears when people think they can tell me these things, ESPECIALLY when they have never raised a child in their life. What makes them think they have a right to tell ME how to look after MY daughter when they have never experienced anything like this is their lives? And no having a pet does not count.
“Why don’t you try doing this? I saw it on a program once”
This isn’t as bad as its just advice but even so.. still irritating. Every child is different and not all of them respond to the same disciplinary actions, just because you saw it on a program and it worked for THAT child does not necessarily mean its works for all.  But when you explain this to said people you get accused of all sorts of things, my favourite being “Your child’s clearly spoilt then”. Erm no darling.. my daughter is clearly none of your fucking business so back off.

Its funny because some days Esme can be a little angel and you would never think she could do no wrong. I’m ranting away here I know, I would never change her for the world besides all of this because that’s who she is (and who I was according to my own mum who says I was just as bad, if not worse!) so maybe I’m getting what I gave XD but point is, if anyone here has a friend who has children and is struggling or upset, please just be a shoulder to cry on or even a ear to listen! Maybe you will have kids one day and then you will truly understand how hard it is. There are no breaks, there is nothing for yourself any more, seeing friends in a rarity; for most they’ll have almost zero social life their only friend being their child, money is non existent ! That £5 dress in the sale they really really want? Still won’t be able to afford it. Sleep? No go. They’re exhausted, skint, lonely and and just need to let some steam off! It wont be forever so help them through the tough times I guarantee they will be there for you when you need it too. and don’t please please don’t… put them down or give lousy advice. You will know its awful, so just leave it be !

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9 thoughts on “Don’t give advice to parents

  1. I dont have a child, nor do I intend to for a while. I do however feel bad for the parents like yourself who go through that. I also admire your courage to handle it. Having a child doesn’t leave you with much choice but to do exactly what your doing I’m sure. Just know some people in the world like myself do admire parents like you for doing what you do!

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